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           V  

The Nemesis News - issue 28.04.1993, page 10

This is only a posting from rec.games.mud.
It clearly shows the hard work of a god.

Let's take a log from Roman (or Greek) times for the REAL thing; this
is how I envisage a REAL god reacting.

You are in the bedroom of Venus. A scene of opulence greets your eyes. 
Plush cushions and draperies are tastefully sprinkled around. A large
bed in the center of the room appears to be well-worn.
You can see:
Venus the love god (sexy!)
Zeus the god (when in Rome...)

Dweeb shouts: Ay Zeus, come here and give me my stuff back!
Zeus snarls angrily.
Venus says: Don't worry darling, he'll go away if you ignore him.
Dweeb shouts: Zitface Zoos! Come and fix my stuff! What kind of fucked place 
is this anyway?
Dweeb shouts: Geez this MUD sucks! The Gods are a pack of losers!
Zeus says: What's his problem anyway?
Venus says: I have no idea. If you're going to find out please be quick.
Venus pants.
Zeus grumbles.
Zeus disappears is a blinding flash.
    --------
You are in a small alleyway between the colloseum and the baths.
You can see:
Dweeb the newcomer (idiot)
Zeus the god (when in Rome...)
Corpse of Dweeb

Dweeb says: About time.
Zeus says: Why do you call upon the powers of the mighty, o mortal one?
Dweeb says: I got killed through a bug and someone pinched the stuff from
my corpse.
Zeus says: What bug and who stole it?
Dweeb says: You're the fucking god. You tell me.
Zeus snarls angrily.
Zeus says: There are no reported bugs in this location. My records show that
you were killed here when you attacked a troop of soldiers.
Dweeb says: Yeah, but it's not fair. Some shit game where a rank beginner
can't splatter a few wimpy soldiers. How about teleporting me to the Acropolis?
Zeus turns red.
Zeus' eyes glint with rage.
Zeus gets bigger.
Dweeb says: Oh very impressive. Big deal.
Zeus gets bigger.
Zeus gets really big.
Zeus towers above the city.
Zeus' voice rings out across the land: The universe was never constructed for
the benefit of fools such as Dweeb!
Zeus takes Dweeb.
Dweeb shouts: This MUD is run by a bunch of useless wimps!
Zeus tears the left arm off Dweeb.
Dweeb says: I'm going to tell all my friends to stay off this MUD. It's shit, 
and it's all your fault.
Zeus tears the right arm off Dweeb.
Dweeb says: You can't hurt me anyway. This is only a game.
Zeus twists the telnet connection.
Dweeb screams.
   ----- Time passes ------
You are in the bedroom of Venus. A scene of opulence greets your eyes. 
Plush cushions and draperies are tastefully sprinkled around. A large
bed in the center of the room appears to be well-worn.
You can see:
Venus the love god (sexy!)
Zeus the god (when in Rome...)
A bottle containing a pickled Dweeb.

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   |   |--. .--   |  \  | .-- .-.-. .-- .--  . .--    |  \  | .-- . . . .-- 
   |   |  | |--   |    \| |-- | | | |-- `--. | `--.   |    \| |-- | | | `--.
   |   |  | |__   |     | |__ | | | |__  __| |  __|   |     | |__ `_^_'  __|

                 Issue 1        28.04.1993        10 coins 

                                 CONTENTS

    Page 2  - Editorial    : "The Nemesis News"          - Poe
    Page 3  - Feature      : "An Interview with Merlin"  - Ponkie
    Page 4  - Story        : "Saucery!"                  - Poe
    Page 5  - Information  : "The Time in Nemesis"       - Junky & Dixie
    Page 6  - Map          : "Welcome To The Jungle"     - Berny & Tasselhoff
    Page 7  - Advertisement: "Malrigor"                  - Warmonger
    Page 8  - Statistics   : "Population Count"          - Junky
    Page 9  - Poem         : "Random Acts of Violence"   - Karnack
    Page 10 - Humour       : "Gods"                      - Unknown

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